Ensomheden er større end normalt i denne tid grundet den nye verdenssituation med COVID-19. Mange sidder alene og får ikke omsorg eller omgang med andre mennesker som vanligt. Savner du et kram af din veninde, savner du intimt samvær, eller savner du at blive nusset i håret af din frisør? Normalt savner en ud af seks voksne personer i høj grad eller meget høj grad omsorgsfuld berøring i hverdagen. Kunne man forestille sig, at tallet er steget de sidste mange måneder grundet isolering, karantæne og et påbud om at holde to meters afstand til andre mennesker?
Dinna Trehøje – Cand.psych, biopat/naturopath ibm og zoneterapeut
Det kan være meget forskelligt, hvorfor man føler sig ensom. Nogle kan være beriget med mange mennesker i sit liv og stadig synes ensomme. Nogle foretrækker at holde sig for sig selv, og på trods af deres manglende kontakt med andre føler de sig ikke nødvendigvis mere ensomme end dem med et bredt og tæt netværk. Studier viser, at det er kvaliteten i vores forhold til andre og ikke mængden af relationer, der er en afgørende faktor for, om man føler sig ensom eller ej. Et studie af Maxwell og Coebergh tilbage i 1986 fandt, at fire faktorer kan have relevans for, om man føler sig ensom eller ej – hvor tæt man er på sin tætteste relation – hvor mange tætte venner man har – hvor tilfreds man er med sine relationer – og om man har daglig kontakt med andre. Skal du have sorteret ud i din omgangskreds, eller skal du have etableret nye relationer? Lettere sagt end gjort.
Om ensomheden er midlertidig eller kronisk, så afhænger ensomheden af, hvordan vi fortolker den. Tager du den positive eller negative hat på? Beskylder man sig selv for sin ensomhed, er man mere tilbøjelig til at lide af kronisk ensomhed. Med et positivt sind og mod på at ændre vaner og tankegange kan du altså arbejde dig ud af ensomheden.
Et amerikansk studie af Cole og kollegaer (2007) undersøgte generne hos mennesker, der ud fra egen subjektiv holdning vurderede sig selv enten som værende ensomme eller ikke-ensomme. Her fandt man, at de deltagere i undersøgelsen, der følte en høj grad af ensomhed, havde en større risiko for at få inflammationsmedierede sygdomme og havde en nedsat modstand over for virale infektioner. Studiet viser altså, hvordan social-miljømæssige faktorer som ensomhed påvirker vores fysiske tilstande.
Det at være i tæt kontakt med andre mennesker har stor betydning for vores psykiske og fysiske velvære. Når et menneske, som vi føler tryghed ved, berører os i mere end 30 sekunder hud-til-hud, frigiver det peptidhormonet oxytocin, hvilket er et stof, der indgår i vores belønningssystem i hjernen. Når dette hormon frigives, får man en følelse af lykke og velvære. Oxytocin, der også kaldes kærlighedshormonet eller krammehormonet, spiller også en afgørende rolle i seksuelle relationer, i fødsler og tiden efter fødsler. Hormonet er med til at dæmpe stress, angst, smerter, får puls og blodtryk til at falde, er med til at øge vores tillid og sænker følelsen af ensomhed.
Den kemiske formel for oxytocin
Tager du din hud for givet? Ser du din hud som irriterende med hår voksende på de forkerte områder og bumser placeret de mest uvorne steder? Det er på tide, at vi indser, hvor vigtig en rolle vores hud spiller uanset vores egne opfattelse af hudens forstyrrende elementer. Huden er ikke blot kroppens indpakningspapir, da berøring af huden har mange gavnlige sundhedsmæssige kvaliteter.
At være i social isolation kan være en stressfaktor for mange mennesker. Ensomheden bliver større og ligeledes hudsulten, hvilket er en tilstand, hvor man mangler fysisk berøring af ens hud. Oxytocin er kendt for at blive stimuleret i kontakten til andre, men er der mon måder, hvorpå oxytocin kan stimuleres uden at være sammen med andre? Det kan godt være, at du ikke får din hudsult stimuleret af andre, men der findes andre måder, hvorpå du kan stimulere aktiveringen af oxytocin og derved opnå en glædesfølelse.
- Ring til din mor eller en anden, der betyder noget for dig. Ord er kraftfulde og kan påvirke humøret og energien via den kærlige og venlige tone. Oxytocinen stiger kun, hvis personen, du taler i telefon med, har en støttende og kærlig forbindelse til dig.
- Gå i karbad, eller tag et varmt brusebad. Sæt din yndlingsmusik på, og tænd stearin- eller duftlys.
- Orgasme via seksuel tilfredsstillelse øger oxytocinniveauet. Bliv klogere på sunde vaner i forhold til at masturbere, så du ikke får et usundt forhold til selvtilfredsstillelse. Forkæl din krop, og lav det til en kærlig handling for dig selv.
- Forkæl din krop med selvmassage. Brug en god creme eller olie, og fordyb dig i processen. Nus dig selv på huden, kram dig selv, eller giv dig selv en god hårmassage.
- Oxytocin udskilles via meditation.
- Når du dyrker motion, øges dit dopamin- og oxytocinniveau. Du behøver ikke at slide og slæbe i et fitnesscenter, på en kondicykel eller noget helt tredje. En rask gåtur i naturen eller motion i hjemmet er tilstrækkeligt til at udløse ovenstående hormoner.
- Studier viser, at ved at give noget til andre, være gavmild og generøs med gaver eller tid udløser store mængder oxytocin. Kender du det at modtage blomster af din søde veninde med teksten: ”Bare fordi du er en god ven” – prøv det, og se, om det gør noget ved din indre tilstand. Måske du allerede kender det fra juleaften, hvor du glæder dig mere til at give gaver end at modtage gaver?
- Forskellige fødevarer kan give os en følelse af velvære. Dette er ikke en opfordring til at gå i krig i dine yndlingsfødevarer på en usund facon. Hvis du derimod spiser mindfuldt, kan det have en beroligende og belønnende effekt. Dette er i stedet en opfordring til at undersøge mindful spisning.
- Lyt til musik, syng, eller spil på et instrument. Dette vil påvirke din sanseoplevelse og kan øge dit øcytocinniveau.
- Se på billeder af dem, du elsker, eller genkald dig gode minder. Oxytocin bliver udskilt, når du genkalder dig en oplevelse, hvor der blev udskilt oxytocin. Med denne viden er det bare med at komme i gang med at sortere dine billeder fra den sidste fest, ferie eller oplevelse.
- Holder du din følelser tilbage? Studier viser, at hvis du holder dine følelser tilbage, så mindskes oxytocinniveauet. Hvis du græder, hjælper det dig med at udskille oxytocin og hjælper dig af med ophobet energi.
Kroppens egen kemi er powerfuld, men føler du alligevel ikke, at ovenstående hjælper på din ensomhed eller din hudsult, så har du i hvert fald gjort nogle kærlige handlinger for dig selv, hvilket du forhåbentlig vil sætte pris på.
Til alle jer, der har en person tæt på jer, men stadig har en følelse af ensomhed. Kram lidt længere, elsk noget mere, lad tantekysset blive til et tungekys, nus hinanden lidt mere, og kast jer ud i mere berøring af dem, I holder af. Udtryk jeres behov om manglende berøring. Kan I mærke, hvordan oxytocinen intensiveres i kroppen? Og hvis I ikke kan finde tiden til nærværet, så sluk mobiltelefonen og fjernsynet.
Om Dinna Trehøje
Dinna Trehøje er uddannet cand.psych. fra Aarhus Universitet i 2018 med speciale i sygdomsopfattelse, smerte og funktionelle lidelser. Derudover har hun samtidig studeret til zoneterapeut og biopat/naturopath i biologisk medicin på Institut for Biologisk Medicin og blev færdiguddannet i 2017. Dinna Trehøje arbejder i øjeblikket med Support & Care-uddannelsen på Institut for Biologisk Medicin, der er en ny overbygningsuddannelse omhandlende konventionel og komplementær behandling af kræft.
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